What You Can't See From Inside It
Written by Derek Mulhern, PCC
As leaders, we get good at tracking what's still unfinished. The gap between where we are and where we want to be tends to take up most of the room.
What we don't always catch is how much we've actually grown along the way.
That hit me a few sessions in with a former client I'd recently reconnected with. Something I was watching her do, the way she was sitting with a hard season, stopped me mid-conversation. She couldn't see it from where she was. But I could.
It reminded me of something I think about a lot with the leaders I work with.
Happy reading!
I recently started working again with a former client.
They were someone I'd coached a few years back.
Too Close to Notice Your Own Growth
A few sessions in, I kept pausing on something.
She was in a hard season.
Where she is now felt all-consuming.
It was the place that pulls all your attention toward what's unresolved and what's still hard.
That is pretty normal for us as humans.
Most of us want out of discomfort and into something that feels more like control.
But sitting across from her, I noticed something she couldn't see from where she.
She’d genuinely developed a level of curiosity that wasn't there two years ago.
It was the sort of curiosity that shows up after someone's done actual work on themselves.
She was too close to her own growth to notice it.
So I named it. I told her what I was seeing.
Reflection Shifts Perspective
Nothing about the circumstances of her life changed in that moment.
She was still dealing with hard stuff.
But from my reflection, I could sense that she was able to own what I’d shared.
What did it do?
Moved her from “I'm not where I want to be” to noticing what she's actually become capable of.
That's usually how growth works.
You rarely see it while you're in the middle of it.
Leaders Move Too Fast to Notice Progress
Most leaders are moving too fast to catch their own progress.
You close one initiative and you’re already three steps into the next.
You solve one board issue and brace for the next challenge.
Forward motion is the job, but it means wins get absorbed instead of noticed.
We rob ourselves of knowing what we’re truly capable of.
Pausing to see it doesn’t just feel nice.
It changes what we can envision for ourselves, our teams, and our organizations.
Practical Ways to Notice Wins
You don’t need a retreat or big gesture.
A five‑minute kudos moment in your next staff meeting works.
So does closing out your week by jotting down three or four wins – small ones included.
The size isn’t the point. Noticing is.
A Question for You
So here's what I'd leave you with.
Not something for your team this time.
Something for you.
Sit with that for a minute.
You might be further along than it feels.